So many things have changed since I posted last, April of 2011, some good and some not so great. What I do know is that change is a good thing, even if it doesn't seem like it is now. I feel like word vomiting all over the page, but I don't feel it is right to say something without thinking about it-otherwise it's not worth it at all. I suppose I ought to start at the beginning.

Last April I got engaged 8 days after my last post-it was wonderful and entirely unexpected. HoneyBee graduated with his Bachelor's degree in May of last year, a very proud day. The following July I got into a brutal car accident that left me with back and hip injuries that have yet to heal. In November HoneyBee's grandmother died of rapid and untreatable lung cancer. We celebrated HoneyBee's 25th birthday in Reno with our Favorite Cousins. After we got home from that trip HoneyBee stayed over more often, and he hasn't left since.He moved in :) He quit his job this past February for 6 months and after many applications got an ideal job close to home as a production supervisor at one of the local farms. On September 15th, Brandon made me a married woman and I couldn't be happier.My pop's just got his hours cut last week, and his job will be obsolete at the start of the new year. My older sister, Michelle, lost her job back in July.

I am in my last year of schooling for Animal Sciences with a minor in Chemistry. I haven't broken the news to much of the family, but I have chosen not to participate in the Commencement ceremony for graduating students. I just don't have the desire, nor do I want to complicate my little sister's senior year of high school. She will be graduating, and I want all eyes on her success. My grandparents have a habit of giving me attention that makes my siblings uneasy and feel less loved and considered.

Of all the things that stress me out most, I can't stop thinking about my car accident. I still let it bother me to the point that I still haven't driven out of town, but once for an emergency. I went to counseling last winter, but I still have a lot to work out. I just stopped going. Before I got married my Mom said I should work that trauma, but I just don't want to deal with it. It hurts too much. If there is anyone that can help me its my HoneyBee, but I don't want to  go there...